Stencil

not sure why

my boundaries are

so poor

when you are all about barriers

your heart a maze

not hedges but yes walls

and not stone or brick

but steel and plastics

for all that firmness

and backbone

and cold cradling

I am so porous

all my borders are open

swinging saloon doors

and thirsty cell membranes

fluid

until they are not

used to be jealous

of the way

you could close off

all sarcasm

frustrated sighs

and a blanket slung over

yourself

facing the wall

facing away from family

so I found out the hard way

loneliness is lonely

after all

you can't look away from

everything

you can't just

pour and flow and gush

any more than

you can stop

and stop and stand and control

you can't be a dam that's stuck shut

or a dam that's carried down river

a dam that isn't there

and water is nearly as cold as ice

sometimes