people
ask me if I miss him
never
directly
with
their faces
or their
roundabout Facebook comments
miss the
way
he'd get
his big awful hand
around
my throat
and lift
me off the floor
telling
me
this
time I love you
so
much
then
the
gut punch
an
assault
a
shot
and
I'd like it
because
it
changed
the way
I
looked
at
things
at
myself
lens
Vaseline
stinky
old
seventies Vaseline
from
the back of
my
parents'
medicine
cabinet
you
take a
lover
then
leave a
lover
who's
on tv every ten
minutes
you
tell me
do
you miss him?
do
you feel fucked?
and
I always
thought
I
was on top
but
I was
greedy
a
power bottom
opening
receiving
nothing
spread
and raw and empty
giving
it all away
people
ask me if I miss him
and
I do
and
I will
but
I'll be damned
if
he'll ever top me again
if
he'll ever be inside
calling
me the best
during
telling
me the worst is
better
than me
after
you
take a
lover
then
leave a
lover
who's
in every store
who
stalks you while
you
buy your food
do
you miss him?
should
you send him a birthday card?
where
are my manners?
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